Monday, September 8, 2008

Saying No

I'm not good at it.

I want to help everyone.

I want to be able to do everything.

I'm a people pleaser.

The truth is, I can't be.

I'm burnt out.

I'm finding myself becoming bitter because people expect too much.

Whose fault is that anyway?


All. mine.

I've said yes far too many times when I should have said no.

My wise friend Sheri often says, "Just because something is worthwhile doesn't mean we should be doing it."

She's so right. As usual.

But it's not just about saying no to things that are asked of me.

It's also about allowing myself freedom to do what I want to do in terms of my household no matter what others think.

My dad once told me that he doesn't worry about me, because I have it all together.

Those words have stuck with me for years.

It's hard sitting on a pedestal and I want to get down.


Kristy said...

So true. We feel the same way here in our family. We have been saying "no" for certain activities, just because we can... And because we felt our family time slipping away to all the activities of the day. Just wanted to say, I stop by your blog often and am so blessed by your encouragement. You remind me of my mom...always sprinkling in praise for our Heavenly Father and living each day for Him. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

I once heard someone say 'No' is a complete sentence. (o;

And you're right about pedestals--I don't like them and don't wish to be on one--the fall is too far and usually quite painful. Part of the reason I changed from 'Mrs.B' to 'Michele' and changed my blogging style a bit was to keep the pedestal far, far away.


Ways of Zion said...

I so need to learn to say no!

Jennifer said...

Tracy, I struggle with this too. We're not perfect, and as much as we'd like to have it all together -- we don't, that's why we have a Savior :o) I am always trying to live up to my parent's expectations - it's something that the Lord is breaking me of, because I should only try to live up to HIS expectations.

Know that I'm praying for you!

randi---i have to say said...

I know what you mean, Tracy! I can get caught up in the same thing sometimes. Give yourself room to say "no". Other people will pick up slack when you can't do something.

His Girl said...


i hear ya, my friend.

Terri said...

This is my constant struggle. I'll be good for a while and then I get sucked back in. "No" is definitely not a word I'm good at!

*carrie* said...

Tracy, hmm. I can relate to much of what you said. Thanks for sharing.

Tracy said...

You know, it is one of the very most freeing things when you finally discover that when you say no, no one hates you for it!

I think there's nothing wrong with mentioning that you're happy to help with whatever if you're available but if you can't then it'll have to be someone elses turn.

Heaven forbid that we should deny someone else the opportunity to be involved!

Anonymous said...

I can relate to this big time...I think it's a woman/mother thing. Thank you for sharing this. Have a Blessed and gentle day.

love, Tina :)

weavermom said...

I can understand this completely. I think most women - especially Southern women - get this. :)

I had a boss once who said that the greatest challenge of the Christian life is not discerning good from evil, but good from BEST.

~~Deby said...

*no*....without added words should be enough..or *sorry I can't*...with nothing more added...our life, our reasons are not other's are accountable to the Lord and your husband.....the rest is fluff..IMHO....REST in the Lord Tracy.

Short Stop said...

I struggle with this, too.

If you figure out how to do it without feeling the guilt, can you tell me?

~~ said...

Just say "No"! lol I learned to do this years ago and have to remind myself often!