For everything there is a season,
and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, ad a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a to to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war and a time for peace.
God's word brings such comfort when I feel like such a failure. On March 30, 2006, my maternal grandmother came to live with us. We were excited at the prospect of multiple generations living together under one roof. Oh the possibilities! Grandma bringing her wisdom, and her great grandchildren bringing to her a childhood that she left behind many years ago.
I envisioned long afternoons of baking, and playing games of Scrabble and Yahtzee. It was not to be, though. For the most part, Grandma spends her days tucked in her own room, reading or watching TV. She joins us for meals and continues to stay at the table while Verne reads a chapter of Scripture to us afterward. Then back to her room she goes.
Though I wish it were not so, I know that she feels all alone, despite living in a home full of activity. We invite her to church, and she refuses to come. We ask her to join us on outings, or to sit with us in the evenings, but she doesn't want to intrude. We've tried time and again to explain that she's part of our family and certainly isn't intruding, but she won't budge.
I've asked myself many times over what I could do differently. I've tried approaching the situation from all angles, and have failed each time.
About 8 months ago, Grandma simply told me that old people and young people have nothing in common.
I cook from scratch, but it doesn't taste like her cooking.
I hang the laundry on the line, but it's too stiff.
I take my children to sporting events, or music lessons, or doctor appointments, and I run too much.
I'm not faulting Grandma. She's nearly 85, and set in her ways, but I'm exhausted. It's difficult to please everyone, and my husband and children can not and will not be neglected.
On April 2, 2009, nearly three years to the day that she came to live with us, we'll drive Grandma to Pennsylvania where she'll reside with my parents. She's excited about going, and seems to have no ill feelings, for which I'm very thankful.
I have no regrets about bringing Grandma here in the first place. I hope and pray that we have all gained something from the experience, and take great comfort in the fact that God knows the details even when I don't.