Many of you have noticed that something has been missing around here. You noticed my complete silence in November and most of December. You noticed my lack of posting about Autumn. And then you noticed that I did mention Autumn, but not Jon. You have emailed me, lifted our family in prayer, and been an encouragement. Thank you.
Many of you already know the story, because you took the time to email. No matter how many times the story is told, it is no easier to tell.
We had high hopes for our oldest daughter. Her courtship seemed so wonderful. Things aren't always what they seem. People aren't always what they seem.
Nearly 18 months ago now, Jon approached my husband about courting Autumn. Verne had a long list of questions for him. Questions that should have been answered truthfully, but weren't. The damage began. When a person habitually lies, they have to remember what they said, and continue to lie to cover up the first things. It's a vicious cycle, really. One that can't be escaped without consequence.
We have taught our children from the time they were very, very young the importance of entering into a marriage carefully. Divorce is not an easy option. Ever. It's not to be used to fix an argument, or difference of opinion. Marriage is hard... always. No matter how much you love the other person, it's still going to take work. There will be days when you don't like the person you are married to at all. Still, that doesn't mean that you just walk away.
That being said, I do believe that although it's never mandated, sometimes, divorce is biblical. Annulment was suggested (even by people in the church) but the state doesn't allow for it in this situation.
Jon and Autumn are no longer married. She has been back home with us for as long as they lived together. I won't elaborate here, but you can read more at Autumn's blog. She told enough to help you understand why they are divorced, but by no means has she given every little detail of what she has been through, nor will she. 1 Peter 4: 7-8 says, "The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers. Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins."
Our family is changed... every one of us. There are no words to describe what we've been through. Anger, grief, sadness. Yes, but it's so much more than even that. It's hard to trust. We let Jon into our lives and our hearts. We treated him like our own, and he had no regard for that love. We gave him the most precious thing we have: our daughter, and he did love her nor cherish her as Christ loves the church.
Several of us have drawn inward, afraid of being hurt. Afraid of getting close. It's made me very cynical since several people whom we thought were friends have shown that they aren't. It's been a rough season of life.
We're taking each day as it comes, looking for the good around us, and trying to start anew. That doesn't mean that Jon never existed. We, in no way, pretend that for a minute. Rather, we turn to God, and try to find the bright spots as they come.
I ask that as you leave comments that you remember to be kind with your words. We are real people with hurting hearts.